Contemplation:
October 27, 2018: Sweetness
Sweetness
Sweetness is a virtue that searches with patience for the good in every person and situation.
Strong Foundation
When my
expectations for a task or another person are unfulfilled, I
sometimes attribute it to my weaknesses or unworthiness. I may accept
the disappointment and even forget the incident but sub-consciously
allow it to hamper my self-respect. Ambitions or relationships are not
appendages of my identity. They are vital in shaping my personality and
taking me ahead, however I need to be prudent in not permitting them to
distort how I see myself. Only my God knows me precisely for what I am
and what I will be. With this faith and confidence, let me see every
experience as a brick thrown towards me to build a strong foundation
for my future.
sometimes attribute it to my weaknesses or unworthiness. I may accept
the disappointment and even forget the incident but sub-consciously
allow it to hamper my self-respect. Ambitions or relationships are not
appendages of my identity. They are vital in shaping my personality and
taking me ahead, however I need to be prudent in not permitting them to
distort how I see myself. Only my God knows me precisely for what I am
and what I will be. With this faith and confidence, let me see every
experience as a brick thrown towards me to build a strong foundation
for my future.
Being Impressed By Others
To keep our self esteem intact, we need to make sure that we do not have an impressionable intellect. Being impressed by people, in itself, is not bad, but we can fall into the tendency of staying trapped in the superfluous (excessive and unnecessary) and in appearances. What impresses us influences us and even moulds our awareness at that moment. We lose the ability to create our thoughts and feelings and these are influenced by the impression that we have allowed the other person to leave on us. Sometimes the impression is such that we completely give ourselves to it. We give up our power to the other, and we allow them to dominate our emotional world. The results of allowing oneself to be impressed are varied and on different levels.
For example, when we are impressed by the other's position; it is fine to respect the authority and the position of the other, but when we allow their position to impress us, our ability to relate to the person in a smooth way is blocked. This can make it difficult for us to be the authority in our own life. Another example is when we are impressed by the achievements of the other and put them on a pedestal. We compare ourselves with him or her and have weak thoughts of ourselves, such as that we are not as good or effective as them, or we might feel jealousy or guilt. All of this acts as an obstacle on the path towards our own achievement. It is good to recognise and appreciate the achievements and skills of others, but when we allow them to impress us, in some way, we submit ourselves to their influence and we weaken our self-esteem and our respect towards ourselves. Without realizing, we use the other to fill a gap that we feel in ourselves. This will not always work. It will not strengthen us; rather it will create a dependency and dependencies weaken us.
Soul Sustenance
The Negative
Shade Of Respect In Relationships (cont.)
In yesterday's message, we had looked at the incorrect and negative side of respect (the energy of fear) in relationships. Today we look at this kind of relationship from that person's perspective from whom respect is demanded. When the boss or the parent or the spouse (please refer to yesterday's message) tries to induce respect inside you for him or her, in return you fear him or her, most of the time thinking it is respect. But, at that point, you need to remember it is impossible to give respect to another if we, at the back of our own minds, fear them. If you are scared of someone or something, it means there is an absence of self -respect, there is a lack of a true realization of your own value, your specialties, your skills and the virtues and powers that you possess. And if you do not respect yourself, you cannot truly respect another. It is only when you are firmly established in your own self-respect that you have no fear of others and are then capable of giving genuine respect to others. Sometimes we are not comfortable with being seen as fearful, because our image will take a beating, so we try to avoid admitting we fear someone by saying we respect them, but internally we are in awe of that person and being in awe is not respecting him or her.
Many a times, two prominent people e.g. two actors or politicians or sportsmen are not on good terms. They accuse and bring down each other publicly and are known enemies in the press. While they do that, they also carry a subtle fear of each other, a fear that the other will outperform them; the other will be more popular, the other will be more powerful etc. This normally happens because of a lack of self-respect. They both will probably hide that and will pretend that they are confident and established in their self-respect. But if their self-respect were genuine, they would not be scared of each other, and they would have the courage and the patience to talk and work with each other and listen to and offer the hand of friendship to each other, whom they perceive to be an enemy. But when they don't have the strength of their own self-respect and when they are unaware of their lack of self-respect, subtle fear for the other creeps in, which they don't realize and if they realize, they do not admit the same. And that's why the restoration of self-respect is only possible when the ego is recognized and no longer nourished. Because, fear always comes from the ego and ego is nothing but an excessive attachment to one's false image.
In yesterday's message, we had looked at the incorrect and negative side of respect (the energy of fear) in relationships. Today we look at this kind of relationship from that person's perspective from whom respect is demanded. When the boss or the parent or the spouse (please refer to yesterday's message) tries to induce respect inside you for him or her, in return you fear him or her, most of the time thinking it is respect. But, at that point, you need to remember it is impossible to give respect to another if we, at the back of our own minds, fear them. If you are scared of someone or something, it means there is an absence of self -respect, there is a lack of a true realization of your own value, your specialties, your skills and the virtues and powers that you possess. And if you do not respect yourself, you cannot truly respect another. It is only when you are firmly established in your own self-respect that you have no fear of others and are then capable of giving genuine respect to others. Sometimes we are not comfortable with being seen as fearful, because our image will take a beating, so we try to avoid admitting we fear someone by saying we respect them, but internally we are in awe of that person and being in awe is not respecting him or her.
Many a times, two prominent people e.g. two actors or politicians or sportsmen are not on good terms. They accuse and bring down each other publicly and are known enemies in the press. While they do that, they also carry a subtle fear of each other, a fear that the other will outperform them; the other will be more popular, the other will be more powerful etc. This normally happens because of a lack of self-respect. They both will probably hide that and will pretend that they are confident and established in their self-respect. But if their self-respect were genuine, they would not be scared of each other, and they would have the courage and the patience to talk and work with each other and listen to and offer the hand of friendship to each other, whom they perceive to be an enemy. But when they don't have the strength of their own self-respect and when they are unaware of their lack of self-respect, subtle fear for the other creeps in, which they don't realize and if they realize, they do not admit the same. And that's why the restoration of self-respect is only possible when the ego is recognized and no longer nourished. Because, fear always comes from the ego and ego is nothing but an excessive attachment to one's false image.
Message for the
day
To receive respect from others comes more with responsibility than as a right.
Projection: The one who gets respect is the one who becomes worthy of it rather than the one who just expects it. True respect comes from how well a task is done rather than what is done. The more one's speciality is expressed, the more one becomes worthy of respect.
Solution: When I go on giving my best in whatever is expected of me, I will start receiving respect from those around me. I will then never expect from others but will naturally be able to give respect to all. This further makes me earn their love and regard.
In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris
